11 3 / 2013
Crossroads
No, not Britney Spears’ famous Oscar winning film, but my very own 24 breakdown. Don’t know why I feel the need to number it with my age, I’ve had other breakdowns for sure, but this is like a life “what do I do with my life” one, which is pretty serious, I think. Not that 24 gives it that connotation, but to me, it does. Hell, I’ll be 25 soon, isn’t that something?
Decisions, decisions, decisions- what do I do? Where do I work? Why does my foot hurt, am I 90? Where do I live? When will those final 5 lbs. come off? So many questions, no answers. Only left to consult with people, make them say what I’m pseudo thinking, “So you think I should not work here, should not work there, so I should not work. For now. In October you say I’m not going to live here anymore, I’m moving, right? You think that’s the best idea? You’re right; there are no opportunities where I am now. You do think these 5 lbs. will just come off? Baby fat?” No.
My boss is currently interviewing to replace me, and I smile. Are you happy or sad? I used to think that when the deed comes I’d cry and then smile. But now, I know I’ll have to disguise my smug curling lip, because GOD DANG I’ll be happy.
So if we make an ass out of you and me, and let’s say for this conversations sake, assume, then we have one decision down. What about the rest? What about where how and when? Will all those come to me? Am I making smart decisions? Am I smart? And why the hell do people say things like “good things don’t come easy” thanks Riley Kilo, and “I guess it wasn’t meant to be” oh shut up.
But, I will continue to live by this because it makes me feel nice and justifies procrastination.
